


Always With You

by Galtori



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Afghanistan, Angst, Break Up, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-20 03:05:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17014419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Galtori/pseuds/Galtori
Summary: Nothing lasts forever, especially in Afghanistan.





	Always With You

**Author's Note:**

> Short but sad. Based on a prompt and filled years ago. Unbeta'd. Part of moving fic to AO3 from Tumblr.

“I meant no harm.” Sholto turned softly from him at those words, the single line between his brows speaking more than the man could in half an hour.

“I thought you wanted everything.”

“I didn’t know what I wanted.” This was the hardest part. “My sister’s gay. She,” he hesitated again. “Mum threw her out of the house when she came out. Dad was too drunk to care. And I loved them as my parents, messed up as they were. So I never even looked at men, for fear -” He couldn’t finish the sentence, but they both knew how it ended. For fear I would fall in love and have their love cast aside as well.

“I understand that John. And I walked into this knowing that you weren’t looking for much in the beginning. But what about last week?” Sholto took John’s hand, and John had to turn, couldn’t show the other man just how much the memories hurt. Because he did mean it. But he couldn’t.

“We both knew I’d be shipped out. That this would happen. We both knew this couldn’t last forever.” He couldn’t look at the man as he said it, or his heart would break in half. So he said the words to Sholto’s face with his eyes closed, willing himself not to feel pain.

“You said you wanted forever.” It was an accusation and a statement. 

“We were both drunk.“ And you weren’t supposed to remember it. The whistle went out, the signal to fall in line.

"May I have something to remember you by?” He could not part with himself anymore than he could part with the man in front of him, though that was because he felt that they were already together, bound in a way he could never describe.

“I have to go.” The words were torn from his throat, his mind’s final attempt to override his damnable heart. But Sholto, as always, made the choice his heart fought for, closing the distance between them for a final kiss. And John’s body, traitor that it was, leaned in, answering with all he was worth. And the kiss was everything they were, a declaration of love and a painful goodbye all rolled into one.

The second whistle broke them apart, and John turned before he could say or do anything excessively stupid like profess his love for his former commanding officer. A single tear rolled down his cheek as John climbed into the tank. Just before his part of the convoy rolled out of camp, he heard Sholto’s last words.

“I’ll always be with you!”

No one in the tank pointed out John’s silent tears.


End file.
